10 Questions to Fuel Deep Conversation at Your Team Dinner Party
Having a dinner party with your team is a great way to build strong bonds and improve communication. And it’s always fun to get to know the people you work with on a more human level.
But we’ve all been to dinner parties where the conversation never shifts down into deep discussion.
Without that kind of conversation, teams can have a difficult time addressing some of the most important questions they face.
At the Big Possible, we build our retreats to spur on the kinds of conversations that lower the walls between people and drive real connections. Tears are shed, bonds are made — and it all starts with a question.
So here is a list of powerful topics you can introduce at your next team dinner party. Armed with these, you’ll be able to go to the heart of who we are as professionals and as people (and making an effort to connect is more important than ever).
Who’s been the most impactful person in your life? What are the most important things they taught you?
We start off our questions with two inspired by Mo Seetubtim and her amazing work with The Happiness Planner. She actually did a workshop with us at a recent Big Possible retreat in Morocco.
Mentorship is one of the most powerful factors for growth. Our mentors become more than just people we know, they become a part of who we are.
When we learn about the mentorship experiences of others, we get deep insight into their life journey.
What’s something you used to view as a fault that you’re now grateful for?
This is another question by Seetubtim, and this time, we turn inward to see the transformations we’ve experienced.
Learning how to love ourselves for who we are is a lifelong project. Along the way, we gradually come to understand that the things that make us different and sometimes make life more difficult can also be our greatest assets.
Questions like this bring a team together as if by magic because they get us to assess our value in front of others. It’s strong stuff for building bonds.
What does your current work do for you? How could it do more?
We all have reasons for being in the profession we are. Sometimes, blind luck opens a path. Other times, we follow a dream we’ve had our whole lives. And unfortunately, some of us feel stuck doing things we don’t want to do.
Learn about what motivates people to be a part of the team. And to go even deeper, find ways that the work can give even more.
What is your time on Earth worth?
In a professional context, we are primed to think about time as money. You divide your yearly salary by all the hours you spend working, and you come up with a number. That must be what your time is worth, right?
But there are only so many hours in a day, and only so many days in a lifetime. While money is a necessity in our world, it alone isn’t worth all of our precious time. So what is our time really worth? Go beyond thinking only in terms of money and it’s amazing the answers you’ll get.
How does what we do fit in with the future of our species?
Business isn’t just about making profit. The economy, in which we all play our small part, shapes the world and its future.
So how does the project your team is working on participate in that future? What are the wider implications of what you do and how you do it? Is there a way this could be improved? How?
What are the most common emotions our work makes you feel?
This question gives you a ton of insight into things that might be going really well or really bad that you never even knew.
Is everybody coming in on Monday with a skip in their step? Or is everybody dreading the morning meeting? Only one way to find out: ask.
What values are most important to you?
This aligns with some of the earlier questions, but it dives into the heart of who people are and how they see their lives.
By knowing the values we share and the ones we don’t, we get a sense of how each team member approaches their work and everything else.
What is the biggest obstacle you face?
For this question, you need to be sure that people are ready and comfortable to open up. But if they are, it’s one of the most liberating things to share with a group.
And by knowing each other's obstacles, we learn how to be better teammates and how to appreciate the adversity that others might be dealing with — even those you can’t see from the outside.
What’s your happiest memory? How often do you think about it?
The high points in our lives become the stuff of personal legend. And yet, we often spend our time thinking about coming deadlines or past regrets.
Getting people to recall the happy moments and consider how often they tap into those memories is not only a way to connect but also a chance for self reflection. It encourages us to be grateful, and that gratitude is a positive way to connect to one another.
What’s something that you want to grow in to get closer to what you desire? What would be possible if you did this?
This question comes from Lisa Kalfus, the Connections Alchemist who founded Firestart Connections. She asked these questions at a Big Possible retreat in Mexico, and we found ourselves connecting on an entirely new level as people.
The great thing about this question and its follow up is that it gets us to dream in front of each other. But these aren’t idle fantasies — the question has us focus on something we could actually do for ourselves.
This emphasis on something we could do gives a jolt of inspiration, and that’s often key to bringing a team together.
